Big Feelings. Finding beauty in the Big Sad. Why Art is so Important.

Hi beautiful people,

Slightly different tone for today’s newsletter. However, a big part of the ADHD experience is that we have many tones.

I am here today to say that I see you. I empathize with you. I have big feelings too.

It can be a lot.

From reflecting on my own ADHD life, those who I coach and reading about ADHD I have found that we feel emotions more intensely.

That includes sadness.

The big sad.

It can be overwhelming and sometimes it really does feel like a burden (and some days it is) . Without an outlet for us to express the vastness of emotion that lives inside of us it can feel like it is pinning us down.

But, there can also be beauty to be found within.

This is why I believe that art, creativity and self-expression in any form is so important for people with ADHD (this is just my opinion but I think your would find it hard to come across anyone who disagrees). I also believe that our ability to feel all emotions more intensely leads to better more honest and vulnerable art that the rest of the world can really benefit from.

I, like many of you, have had my fair share of pain from simply being alive and my beautiful sensitive heart often seeks ways to form my feelings into art outside of my body and swirling brain.

I think it is important to make space for the entire ADHD experience. We can hold finding intense elated joy in a new pair of sparkly glasses, or our new favourite song in one hand while creating space for feeling quite sad or devastating emotional pain when life gets hard or when someone hurls a criticism at us in the other hand. And although it can feel overwhelming at times there can be beauty found within the sad, in fact finding the beauty in the sorrow may be the only thing that gets you through.

I recently listened to this podcast (We Can Do Hard Things) on heartbreak with Florence Williams here. And she states that those who where able to recover from heartbreak where the ones who were able to find the beauty in their surroundings and experience AWE. I can’t think of a better practice for finding beauty in the life than trying to capture it in a painting, writing a poem, slowing down to take a photograph of a breathtaking scene found within the mundane, or maybe filling a moment with song by opening your mouth to sing.

Our sensitivity to rejection or criticism can give us pause when sharing our point of view or our art with the world. We are some how leveraging more. The risk is higher because we have bared our soul into this work and the cost or rejection and criticism makes it not feel worth it. However when we do share I find the art to be so incredible because of our ability to feel so deeply.

Finding safe spaces to share can be very helpful. For example, I at one point was going to writing workshops. These workshops were cultivated safe spaces that felt sacred and special. During a workshop, in a moment of sadness I wrote the poem below that that I think encapsulates the very subject of this email. So here I go! Being vulnerable and sharing it with you (ahhh!)

Pain Become Art

I desperately want to be known.

How can I take my pain and form it into something

So it is both no longer withering inside of me

and so others might see it and finally understand.

Let me take my insides and throw them on a page

Let me sculpt my darkest moments

so that they may live somewhere

other than the bottom of my sternum

or the ache in my spine.

Let something beautiful come from all of the suffering

Let my pain become art.

** these are just my observations and reflections on the ADHD experience. It is not meant to be a replacement for scientific study or medical advice. It is based on my own lived experience (I also believe that lived experience is not valued enough within the ADHD support world), my experience coaching others with ADHD and resources on ADHD that I have taken in that have resonated with me.**